Epilogue 2, It is hard to know what to say in the end, platitudes and gratitude are the staple of goodbye speeches, but I think Mseleni has meant more than just superficial sentiments. I still believe that I wont really be able to fathom its affect on me for some time yet but one last time I will try and put my thoughts down.
Everyone keeps asking me about the things I will miss and it is hard to not to talk about specifics; flying to clinic, the excitement of OPD, the weekends exploring and living by the golden beaches and warm waters. I think it will also be hard not to miss feeling a part of the hospital community, getting involved with the running of the place and having a sense that what I did had a real effect on people.
Perhaps the best way to think about how I feel now is remembering how I felt in the beginning. Being so far away from home and everything familiar was always going to be a challenge and arriving in Mseleni I was cautious about how I may feel isolated. However, my good fortune meant that from the moment I arrived I was surrounded by individuals that never gave me any opportunity to dwell on the past, and instead challenged me to do more and better. I may have met these individuals as mere colleagues but I have left them as the closest of friends.
What bothers me most about leaving Mseleni is that I know that I can never again have all that I have left behind. Sure, I may be able to go back again someday but I’ll be at different place in my life, my friends would have moved on and even the place may have moved on. It will never again be the same.
Above all I will miss myself in Mseleni. Professionally and personally I became someone I’ve aspired to be in this sleepy little village in the heart of Maputaland, someone that it is not always possible to be in the metropolis of London. I keep thinking that no significant experience can leave anyone unchanged and through time I will discover how significant an experience Mseleni has truly been.
For now I will live vicariously through my memories, my pictures and my writings, remembering the hard times as not so bad and the good times as great.
No comments:
Post a Comment